So what is this all about?? i (Sarah) decided that we should document our journey to be parents through adoption, whilst initially I considered this to be indulgent and Andy thought unnecessary we decided it would actually be a lovely way of capturing our journey and hopefully one day our son/s or daughter/s would read this and give them an insight as to how we came to be their mummy and daddy. So with the nod of approval from our trusted friend Jassa and a recommend website for blogging from Matt, here our story begins………
In late 2013 we came to realise that it would be unlikely (not impossible but very unlikely ) that we would become pregnant naturally. We had paid privately for some basic fertility tests and without going into details I would not easily fall pregnant with my own poor quality and ageing eggs. This led us to consider a number of alternatives, IUI, IVF and egg donation IVF, all with the added bonus of great emotional and financial expense. Due to my age we would not be supported by the NHS as their cut off for IVF is 38.5 years and so would be self funded. Once you start this route we had concerns it would be like gambling and the constant “it didnt work this time , let’s do just one more” would haunt us and lead us to financial hardship. It’s not just about the money, it’s about the investment physically and emotionally you put in. I had seen too many failed IVF treatments to feel positive and I didn’t feel our relationship would come out of it the same way we went in. I think we both felt it wasn’t for us.
I have to say that our decision to adopt wasn’t a hard one, Andy was happy to head straight for adoption and i think we both knew we would like two children and given my age two naturally was ambitious. So in an ideal world, in 2009 when we married and was ready to start a family a birth child and then adopted child would have completed the Roberts family unit. The decision wasn’t if to adopt but whether I owed us a chance to try for a birth child and I needed to explore if I had the pull of carrying a baby and giving birth and if I didn’t try would I feel intense regret? There is a lot of “I” in that paragraph but I should point out Andy was happy to adopt in Jan, as a women with all her friends having babies I just wasn’t 100% sure not to try some fertility treatment and worried I would regret it.
When you decide to adopt you realise you will never see a positive pregnancy test, see the pride and excitement in your partners face when you say that you are pregnant, attend antenatal classes or make new friends at an NCT class, exchange birthing stories, share the moment of giving birth with your partner or feel the bond of your baby immediately. There are of course moments parent who adopt experience with their son or daughter those that don’t will never know, but for that time in early 2014 I wanted to be sure i didn’t want to try IVF or egg donor.
But after much research, pondering, emotional roller coaster,arguing, crying and general down in the dumps on my part I came to realise I wasn’t fussed on being pregnant, giving birth and I wouldn’t regret no trying IVF etc. plus an adopted child would give us everything a birth child would if not more. So we booked ourself onto an adoption open day and our journey began to find our child and be parents.
therobertsjourney 